There are too many people who suffer, and no one seems to care because we are relative nobles online, and they know it. It’s too late for me, but I’m asking someone to do something about the site at some point. I have no real friends, I have no other reason to be. It escalated from attacking me for being autistic, to attacking and trying on my friends, and trying to commit suicide, just to get a reaction from me.
It doesn't matter anymore.But Kiwi Farms has worsened the harassment orders. I won't make a big fuss about it online though, don't worry. On my reputation and honor, having had no history of ever threatening this nor of being untruthful in my 20+ years online, I give you my word that I'm serious. It won't fail, but if it were to, I live on the 14th floor and have a balcony. A kick stool should be all that's needed. I can nearly pass out with little effort or discomfort, the carotid arteries are easily compressible. I live alone, I've tested my setup with a slipknot on a solid climbing rope over a door frame, I've spent weeks doing my research on this, it works. If not, then I'll reply with my dox: a scan of my passport, a recent photo, and proof that it's mine, for confirmation. Please give me the chance to get through this. This is me just outright begging you with everything I have. And I'll keep going to therapy to try to get past this. You won't hear of me again, I'll just post emulator releases and that's it, absolutely no internet presence otherwise, on my word. My politics are centrist and kept to myself, my social media accounts are all long-gone. I'm not involved with the fandom or non-binary scene and haven't been for years, I was just desperate to fit in somewhere. I've done my best the past three years to better myself and make changes for every point criticized there.
Near higan bsnes has died software#
I'll further offer you my services as a 20-year software engineer, free of charge. If you'll take down my thread, I'll offer you my entire life's savings: $120,000 USD, as much of that as you want, however you want it. There's no other reason for my being but to try and emulate game consoles for people. I have no real-life friends, no identity off the internet, this is it. I can only tell you that I can't handle this anymore.
I really can't explain why this hurts me so deeply, and I know it's irrational. I can't live like this any more, it has wrecked my entire life. But I've always been ridiculed for being different. To learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I know I'm different, but I've tried my best to be a good person. I can't stop spending every hour of my life worrying about what your users are going to do next to me or my friends both onsite and off. I've tried everything, but nothing works.
I've tried therapy, I've tried every anti-depressant available in Japan, I've erased my entire internet presence back in July. This, combined with the emails that Josh (called Null on Kiwi Farms) provided (shown below), gave the users of Kiwi Farms enough doubt to call into question that the suicide even took place, making the original 13-page thread balloon into a staggering 92 pages. When looking back at the original YCombinator news post, the user endlessmike does prove to be an account that was created that day with only the one post and nothing else attributed to the account. The reply was mostly Byuu agreeing with some of the finer points of the post, and admitting that they do act out online sometimes while inviting others to poke fun at them (shown below, click to expand). The thread went by for two years with users posting to it irregularly until February 7th, 2020, when Byuu posted a reply to the thread. The post itself links out to multiple examples of Byuu in the wild, as well as casting a final judgment about them while posting links to every account associated with them. On May 14th, 2018, a Kiwi Farms user made a long forum post detailing Byuu's online life and several controversies over the years, casting them in a less than positive light. This is because Kiwi Farms itself started as a wiki for Chris-Chan, so the community's foundation is built on bullying lolcows. The initial reports of the suicide lay blame at the hands of the website Kiwi Farms, which is infamous for its handling of lolcows. Following this blog post, there were various incidents with fellow members of the retro gaming, emulation, game development, trans and furry communities over the next few years, which were collected and documented as a way to turn Byuu into a lolcow.
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